Trauma is defined as anything that you have experienced in the past that continues to negative affect you in the present and future. Trauma is typically an emotional response to a terrible event like war, rape, natural disaster, or smaller trauma like continues negative messages from caretakers that produce intense physical and psychological reactions to the event. Long term reactions may include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained or high conflict relationships as well as physical symptoms like headaches, muscle pain and nausea.

While these feelings are a normal response to a difficult situation, some people struggle to move on with the lives and become “stuck” in a trauma response.

“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.” (p.97)”
― Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

Experiences that may be traumatic include:

• Physical, sexual, and emotional abuse
• Childhood neglect
• Living with a family member with mental health or substance use disorders
• Sudden, unexplained separation from a loved one
• Poverty
• Racism, discrimination, and oppression
• Violence in the community, war, or terrorism

Although trauma can occur at any age, it has particularly debilitating long-term effects on children’s developing brains. Often referred to as adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), exposure to these experiences is common across all sectors of society:

“As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself…The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage.”
― Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

“Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.”
― Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

WAYS TO HEAL TRAUMA: EMDR

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences.  Repeated studies show that by using EMDR therapy people can experience the benefits of psychotherapy that once took years to make a difference. It is widely assumed that severe emotional pain requires a long time to heal.  EMDR therapy shows that the mind can in fact heal from psychological trauma much as the body recovers from physical trauma.  When you cut your hand, your body works to close the wound.  If a foreign object or repeated injury irritates the wound, it festers and causes pain.  Once the block is removed, healing resumes.  EMDR therapy demonstrates that a similar sequence of events occurs with mental processes.  The brain’s information processing system naturally moves toward mental health.  If the system is blocked or imbalanced by the impact of a disturbing event, the emotional wound festers and can cause intense suffering.  Once the block is removed, healing resumes.  Using the detailed protocols and procedures learned in EMDR therapy training sessions, clinicians help clients activate their natural healing processes.

EMDR PSYCHOTHERAPY AS A MAP TO HEALING Deany Laliotis – YouTube

What is Depression and Do I have it?

Depression, also known as Major Depressive Disorder or clinical depression is a mood disorder that can be a result of bio-chemical issues or situational events. People who suffer from depression experience persistent sadness, hopelessness, and loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities for a minimum time of two weeks. Those who suffer from depression struggle with thinking, feeling, and behaving in ways that are beneficial to them. The DMS-IV designates the following symptoms:

• Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
• Feelings of hopelessness, or pessimism
• Feelings of irritability, frustration, or restlessness
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
• Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities
• Decreased energy, fatigue, or feeling “slowed down”
• Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
• Difficulty sleeping, early morning awakening, or oversleeping
• Changes in appetite or unplanned weight changes
• Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
• Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems without a clear physical cause that do not ease even with treatment
• Suicide attempts or thoughts of death or suicide

When Should I Get Help?

Fleeting feelings of depression and/or being “down or low” are normal parts of the emotional experience. However, when these feelings are persistent and occur more often than not in a two-week period, you should seek help. Help can come in many forms and is not limited to therapy, support groups, meditation, and medication management. The goal of treatment is to diminish the feelings of depression and return your mood to the previous or a better level of function.
If you or your loved one is contemplating suicide, please contact a mental health professional and/or reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

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What are Mood Disorders?

Mood Disorders are defined as emotional states in which the person experiences extreme highs and extreme lows. These extreme “highs” can be hypomanic, meaning a mood that is less severe than manic, or they can be considered full-blow mania. Criteria for hypomania and mania include and must occur for a least one week:

• Elevated or Persistent Expansive Mood
• Significant Changes in Energy
• Decreased need for sleep
• More talkative than normal (pressured speech)
• Distractibility
• Increased Goal Oriented Behaviors
• Psychomotor Agitation

Please note that these symptoms can not be related to other medical conditions and/or be a result of substance abuse.

The DSM-IV designates mood disorders as Bi-Polar I, Bi-Polar II,

What if My Teenager is MOODY….does he/she have a Mood Disorder?

The teenage years are a time of intense changes in brain functioning and hormonal changes. It is normal for your teen to be moody at times. Their brain is going through the “pruning process”, effectively losing unnecessary parts of their brain and while doing so, their mood may fluctuate more than normal. The developmental goal for teenagers is to increase their independence, rely more on social structures such as peers, friends, and school, and move away from their parental network. These are big changes and as parents, we also go through changes in how we experience and relate to our teens. Consequently, the changes within the teen as well as the changes in the home environment can cause your teen to be moody. If your teen demonstrates significant changes in their mood that last for more than one week for mania or for more than two weeks for clinical depression, you should seek help. Further, if you have a family history of bipolarity, please share this information with your healthcare provider.

What are Personality Disorders?

A personality disorder is a deeply ingrained, unhealthy pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaving. Personality disorders usually begin to form in the teenage years when the person is experiencing significant problems maintaining or initiating relationships and social activities at work, school, or home. If these patterns persist, the person may struggle to function in society in a healthy way. Most people who have a diagnosed personality disorder are not even aware of the impact of their entrenched think and behavior. They view their struggle as the fault of others and are resistant to accepting responsibility for their actions. This thinking perpetuates the personality disorder, and the person typically continues to struggle.

The following is a list of the most common personality disorders, and it is important to note that approximately 10 percent of the population suffers from these disorders:

• Antisocial
• Borderline
• Histrionic
• Narcissistic
• Obsessive Compulsion

What causes personality disorders?

Researchers believe that personality disorders are influenced by genetics and the environment in which the child grew up. Other studies indicate a link between anxiety, fear, aggression, and some of the personality types.

Significant childhood trauma such as:

• Sexual abuse
• Physical Abuse-in extreme cases these traumas can lead to borderline personality disorders
• Verbal abuse
• High Reactivity Environment-more likely to develop an anxious personality disorder
• Inconsistent Parenting-children are three times more likely to suffer from a narcissistic personality disorder
• Intense bullying

What is the best way to treat personality disorders?

First it is important to find a mental health professional that has experience treating personality disorders. Evidence-based therapies such as Behavior Therapy/Behavior Modification, Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), Dialectical-Behavior Therapy (DBT) as well as support groups and medication have been found to the most effective treatments for personality disorders. It is important to know that personality disorders are typically difficult to treat as the entrenched thinking, feeling, and acting have become a way of life for many people so be patient with yourself and family members.

What are Phobias?

Phobias are considered irrational, intense, and persistent fears about a person, animal, activity, object, or situation. Phobias are a type of anxiety disorder where the person either avoids or triggers the fear to better manage and decrease the overwhelming fear and anxiety. To be diagnosed with a phobia, the fear must be negatively impacting a person’s daily level of functioning. For example, if a person deals with their fear of spiders by not going in the basement, this could be considered not very impactful to their functioning, however, if that same person deals with spiders by refusing to leave the house, this reaction would be considered a phobia. Typical symptoms of phobias include:

• Excessive, unreasonable, persistent feelings of fear of anxiety.
• Feeling that are either irrational or disproportionate to the situation.
• Avoidance of the object, activity, or situation that triggers the phobia.

Phobias in childhood typically occur between the ages of 5-9 and are usually more short-term in nature while phobias in late teens and early adulthood tend to be more long-lasting and difficult to treat.

3 Types of Phobias:

1. Specific Phobias (Simple phobias): the most common kind of phobia and are at least in part genetics.
   1. Animals (spiders, dogs, cats, etc.)
   2. People (dentists, doctors, clowns, police)
   3. Environments (basement, dark places, heights, thunderstorms, situations (fear of confided spaces such as a place, train, etc.)
2. Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia): tends to run in families and children who are more shy are more at risk of social anxiety
   1. Fear of attending school
   2. Fear of being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated
   3. Agoraphobia: many people with agoraphobia experience panic disorders or panic attacks
3. Agoraphobia: many people with agoraphobia experience panic disorders or panic attacks
   1. Fear of places that where the fear is not based on the social aspect (elevator)

When the person becomes phobic of something, some person, or some place, they may experience physical experiences such as shortness of breath, racing thoughts, heart palpitations, and other physical symptoms such as sweating or trembling. If you feel this way, please call our office at 301-570-7500.

Relationship Issues

At Olney Counseling Center we believe that all therapeutic work begins with the relationship. The relationship between you and your partner, children, a family of origin, work, school, and finally the relationship between you and your therapist.

“The psyche is not inside us but between us.”
Psychiatrist, Dr. Donald Winnicott

Dr. Carl Rogers, the founder of Person-Centered Psychotherapy outlines three essential qualities in a successful therapeutic relationship: Unconditional Positive Regard, Genuineness, and Empathy. We at Olney Counseling Center agree with Roger’s assessment and because of that, our center provides a safe, judgment-free environment where you can learn to bring your best self to your relationship.

Depending on your situation, we will teach you more effective ways to interact, communicate, and relate to your loved ones.

We provide the following relationship counseling:

• • Couples Counseling
  • Parent-Child Counseling
  • Parent Coordination
  • Reunification Therapy

We know that our environment impacts our physical, mental, and cognitive functioning. Our environment or the influence of social issues can affect how that person functions in a social setting.

Why are Social Issues and/or Attachment so important?

The psychiatrist, Dr. Bowlby, studied the social relationship between mother and child by looking at the behavioral and psychological consequences of strong and weak emotional bonds between these groups. After watching the social interaction between mother and child, he developed the Attachment Theory that posits that there are four basic kinds of social attachments:

1. Secure Attachment: these infants showed distress upon separation and sought comfort and were calmed when their caregiver returned.
2. Anxious-Resistant Attachment: these infants experience intense distress however their connection was a mixture of wanting comfort from their caretakers and well as “punishing” their parents for leaving.
3. Avoidance Attachment: these infants show little or no distress when the caretaker leaves or when they are reunited with the parent.
4. Disorganized-Disorganized Attachment: these infants and children typically have no predictable pattern of attachment behaviors.

Healthy attachment behaviors tend to lead to better social relationships at home, work, and school which in turn lead to better social outcomes for the individual. Securely attached people tend to be bullied less, have decreased negative social interactions, and have a higher rate of making and keeping friends.

Another aspect of social issues is social media. Social media is one of the primary ways that people attempt to connect with others. While social media can be helpful, it can also be a source of anxiety and depression for many people. Studies show a positive correlation between the number of hours spent on social media and negative self-esteem. For example, the more time spent looking at pictures of others on social media, the more a person may begin to feel less than, “not enough”, and later feel more anxiety and depression than they did prior to viewing the social media.

If you or your teen is struggling with fitting in, attachment, and/or social issues, please call us at 301-570-7500 for help.

What is Stress or Anxiety?

Stress or anxiety is when a person feels an intense, excessive, and persistent worry or fear about everyday events that is not normal for the situation. Many view stress and anxiety as the same thing, however the subtle difference between the two is important to know. Stress is usually triggered by an external event whereas anxiety is an internal feeling as a response to an event.

Many people view stress or anxiety as a reaction that we are not dealing with a situation or event. They begin to feel that they are losing control and their anxiety can increase. This increase in anxiety is typically seen as a negative response, but stress and anxiety are not all bad. We need an average amount of stress or anxiety to have the optimal level of performance. For example, for a teen to do their very best on an exam, they need to have a moderate amount of stress to propel them to study for the test. If the same student is too laid back, they may not study adequately at all for the test, and as a result, they will likely not do as well.

When is stress and anxiety harmful? Stress and anxiety are viewed as negative when they are interfering with daily life and tasks, when the person struggles to not think about the worry (obsess) or when they must participate in compulsive behaviors to decrease or manage the anxiety.

Below are the most common types of anxiety:

Types:

• Generalized Anxiety Disorder
• Acute Stress Disorder
• Panic Disorder
• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
• Social Anxiety
• OCD