Just as it is hard to be an individual struggling with the heaviness of depression, it is often hard to know how to support someone struggling with depression. As a therapist, I work with adolescents and adults struggling with depression, which can be long term (often called Dysthymia), or shorter-term (often called Major Depressive Disorder). Depression can flare up due to biological factors, social factors, and psychological factors, often leading to extreme sadness and/or hopelessness, loss of interest in usual hobbies or activities, and negative thoughts about themselves, others, or the world.

 Here are my 5 most recommended tips to help someone struggling with depression.

1. Validate and make sure they are safe- Acknowledge that you recognize they are struggling and let them know that you want them to be safe. Simply say, “I care about you and want to ensure that you are feeling safe right now, both to yourself and others?” If they express imminent concerns for the safety of themselves or others, help them to get emergency intervention – contact your local crisis center, call 911, or get them to the nearest hospital emergency room.

2. Be Present- Although it is difficult to do sometimes, put away all the distractions, including technology, and truly be present with the person who is struggling with depression. Ask “How can I support you?”. Sometimes they may just need you to listen, sometimes they may need physical touch, or sometimes they may just want you to sit and “be” with them, even if it is in silence. Letting the person know, “I want to be present with you during this difficult time. How can I support you?” can go a very long way and show this person the love and care that they likely need.

3. Be an engaged listener- If the person you are supporting does want to talk about their experience, be an active listener. Although you may not be able to help them through their issue, listening and being compassionate can make a world of difference. As renowned author Lori Gottlieb states, “People start to heal the moment they feel heard”. You do not need to solve their problem, just be there to listen.

4. Encourage them to receive professional help- People struggling with short- or long-term depression can often benefit from seeking professional support with a trained psychotherapist and/or medication prescriber (Psychiatrist, PNP, Primary Care). Some of the symptoms of depression may hold a person back from being motivated and following through with seeking help.

If they already have a therapist or other mental health professional, encourage them to reach out to schedule an appointment.  Let them know that although you are here to listen, a trained and licensed professional is better equipped to help with effective and evidence-based therapeutic techniques.    

If they do not already have a therapist or mental health professional, encourage them to sit with you and find someone who may be a good fit for them. I often recommend the website www.psychologytoday.com, which allows you to filter out clinicians based on insurance, location, specialty, etc. and learn a bit about them. Sending the first email or making the first call is often the hardest part, especially for someone who is actively struggling.

5. Participate in an activity together- When feeling depressed, it is common to “shut down” and want to lay low. Find a common interest or activity you can do together and encourage the person to do that with you. Oftentimes, even taking a short walk can help to release endorphins leading to increased Serotonin, which helps us to feel content and happy. There are many other activities you can do together that are just as helpful! 

If you know someone who is struggling with depression, contact Olney Counseling today.  

Meditation can be a “lifesaver” during COVID-19 and any other stressful times in your life. Meditation is a simple practice that is available to all, can reduce stress, increase calmness, improve clarity and promote happiness. We will examine how to meditate, quickly identify ways to meditate and get you started on a path towards greater acceptance and joy.  Take a deep breath and get ready to relax………

The Basics

As you learn how to meditate, the Breath Meditation is the easiest and most straightforward of the meditation practices and can be done in all settings.  Find a quiet and comfortable place to do your mediation practice.  When first starting the breath meditation, try practicing these strategies for 5 minutes.

1. Sit – You can sit cross legged on a cushion or in a straight-back chair with your feet flat on the ground.
2. Posture – Place your hands palms up in a “open hand” position with your eyes open, letting your gaze rest comfortably about six feet in front of you.  If this is not comfortable, close your eyes softly and imagine you are looking at something calm and serene.
3. Breath – Notice and follow your breath.  Pay attention to your inhales and exhales while remaining relaxed in your sitting posture position.  With each breath, imagine the air going through your mouth and nose.  Your environment will start to dissolve around you as you concentrate on your breathing.  Some people like to count as the breath in…one, two, three in…one, two, three out.  Try to remember to keep your body relaxed as you focus on your breath.
4. Thoughts – Notice thoughts and feelings that arise.  When we notice a thought or feeling, we are moving our attention away from the breath and/or meditation.  Try to refocus your thoughts on your breath by saying “breath” and counting as you inhale and exhale.  It is normal for our minds to wander, especially during the initial stages of our mediation practice.  Remember to be kind to yourself, do not judge your ability and refocus on your breath and posture.
5. Body Scan – This is an optional meditation step, but several people find the body scan to be helpful.  To initiate the body scan, make sure your breath is calm.  Once your breath is steady, start by focusing on the top of your head, slowing and deliberately moving down each inch of your body until you reach your feet.  Focus on each muscle group, attempting to release any tension in that body part.  The body scan will help you relax and assist in being “present” during the meditation.  
6. Close with Kindness – Once your allotted time for meditation has ended, slowly bring your focus back to the room, open your eyes if you have closed them and notice the calm, peaceful feeling you are experiencing. 

As you learn how to meditate, some people struggle with the breath meditation and body scans.  For those people a guided meditation can be another great way to begin your meditation practice.  Listening to an experienced teacher can help us to remain present, let go of distracting thoughts and be kind to ourselves.

Below are some links for guided meditation from UCLA: